Empty Playground
by anek
Summary: Yuuta thinks of his brother and the Seigaku captain who took his place on his brother’s side.


Synopsis: Yuuta thinks of his brother and the Seigaku captain who took his place on his brother's side. 

Written in Yuuta's POV. Happens around episode 62 (i don't remember exactly, but happens in the Seigaku vs Hyotei match) 

Warning: Shounen-ai. Tezuka x Fuji. Interpretation of Yuuta's feelings entirely up to you ^_~ Might contain spoilers for episodes 62-something. 

Some little notes: 

*Aniki - older brother 

*Hakugei – means "white whale" one of the triple counters, a technique mastered by Fuji which makes the ball bounce from the other side of the court and back to him without giving his opponent a chance to hit the ball. 

*ichinen - first year 

*neesan – older sister 

*buchou - captain

*tensai - prodigy

* * *

**Empty Playground **

By anek 

The ball flew back and forth between the opposite sides of the court... rhythmically, always taking the same path from one side and on the way back.

Not only had Fuji Syusuke rendered his opponent motionless... but the audience speechless as well. 

And I was no different. 

I grabbed the wire fence with both hands, pressing my face closer until I could almost feel the cold metal wires on my face. The player on the farther side of the court... was Hyoutei's Akutagawa Jirou, and not just a normal junior high tennis player, but an impressive player at that. I know, because he defeated me in less than 15 minutes in our match a few days earlier. 

But now Jirou stood motionless, as if he had forgotten that he held a tennis racket in both hands and just watched as the tennis ball bounce from one side of the court, and back to the hands of his opponent... 

Aniki. 

I had known aniki was brilliant, that he had been called the "tensai" Fuji Syusuke, and at the same time, I was dubbed the "brother of tensai Fuji Syusuke". Perhaps I did feel resentful; perhaps I even hated him... 

Maybe... 

Another demonstration of Hakugei, and the crowd started cheering, having gotten over the initial shock and disbelief that such a technique could even be humanly possible. But maybe most of the spectators didn't question the possibility (or impossibility) of that move any farther. 

Because it was Fuji Syusuke, and Fuji Syusuke can make moves that others can't. It was as if that fact itself, had answered their unspoken questions. 

Aniki never showed his full tennis strength... not to most people... especially not to me. He was more careful than anything, not to show it to me. He'd never want to make me feel inferior; he'd never want us to be compared. He'd never want to see me hurt by those unsympathetic comments that others would carelessly drop my way. 

But still, he'd never want to see me defeated either, that's why I know, he would defeat Jirou even if it meant using his full strength. 

The rest of the match went so fast that the crowd went silent again, until the scorer declared that the match had ended, 6-2 game and match, Seigaku's Fuji Syusuke's win. 

The crowd roared again, the victorious cheers of Seigaku tennis club filled the court, but I wasn't surprised when I spotted a few Hyotei students cheering as well, even the defeated Jirou was delighted, no doubt impressed by his opponent who had played so well. 

"Whoa! You really are amazing! Let's play again! Is there anyone stronger than you? Wow! You're amazing!" 

From the distance I could hear Jirou's excited words as he shook aniki's hand. Aniki mumbled something and they both left the net, Jirou dashing excitedly to his teammates and aniki striding casually towards the opposite side. He had a smile, but it was the same smile he wore every day, not a hint of a victorious smirk, nor a grin of superiority, but just a simple, satisfied smile... 

One that I know so well... 

"FUJIIIIIIIIII!!!" the red-haired Seigaku regular shouted before aniki could reach the coach bench. It was Kikumaru Eiji... one of Seigaku's famed Golden Pair, and perhaps, with a slight twinge of regret, aniki's best friend, as I've seen them together most often. 

They congratulated him. I remained where I stood. 

It wasn't only the wire fence that separated us, but the victorious teammates, the ecstatic fans, and time itself has forced us apart. It was no longer just the two of us playing in the park where neither of us had to worry about who was superior in tennis and who was not. 

"Well done, Fuji," the deep voice floated above the rest. 

Any other compliments, aniki would only keep his casual smile, nodding and occasionally mumbling a grateful word or two. But when it was Tezuka, he would open his eyes for a brief second, and his smile would curve into something that was subtly different but perhaps only the two of them knew the meaning of. 

I shifted my gaze to the esteemed Captain of Seigaku, always holding his head high as if he was all that, never smiling as if no one was worthy enough to see it, always speaking in such a commanding tone as if he owned the world... 

Tezuka Kunimitsu. 

Or perhaps it was only my bitterness that gave me such a bad opinion of him. 

Everyone thought it was jealousy of aniki's talent that drove me away from Seigaku, that I wanted to seek a name of my own, one not related to that of "tensai Fuji Syusuke" and maybe I wanted to believe that as well... 

Because the truth was much harder to accept... 

***about 1 year earlier*** 

The start of school year always felt nice. For some odd reason, it felt good to wear the school uniform again, to chat with friends, old and new. And of course, I had gained quite a few new acquaintances as well, since it was my first day in junior high. 

A freshman. 

I was normal freshman who was normally quite excited upon entering junior high. 

It wasn't long before I became the receiving end of everyone's favorite question... 

"Are you Fuji-sempai's younger brother?" a boy would ask, eyes glowing as he would go on about how "Fuji-sempai" was cool and kind. 

"Are you Fuji-sempai's younger brother?" a girl would ask then, cheeks blushing as she would blabber on about how cool and good-looking "Fuji-sempai" was. 

I would occasionally make a snide joke about how I was a "Fuji" as well... sometimes I would just grunt and absent-mindedly nod. 

Although I had decided not to mind... was it then that I started resenting aniki? I refused to join the tennis club as much as I liked tennis. Yeah... maybe I did feel envious... just a little... 

On days when neesan was too busy to make bento for our lunches, aniki would make them. He'd always have them all colorful and nice, sometimes even spelling out my name in a trail of green beans that always made me flush a little when I open the boxed lunch and have my friends ogle at them. Of course, I'd never tell them it was my brother who made those bentos, it would be too embarrassing. Although I was fond of muttering "baka aniki" under my breath, I secretly did marvel at how aniki cared about me. 

"Yuuta, obento," he used to say, handing me a carefully wrapped boxed lunch before gently tucking his own inside his neat backpack. I'd grudgingly accept, before striding quickly outside. He'd offer to walk together to school, I would decline. It wasn't that I disliked being babied... but it suddenly... became too embarrassing. How was it that I used to be able to look at aniki with an unfaltering gaze? I wondered many times. Perhaps it was only part of growing up, although I did question the fact that aniki never changed, he was still the same soft-spoken smiling brother to me. 

It wasn't long before I noticed he no longer made two bentos in the morning... but three. I never asked him why, but I figured it was because he needed more nutrition from all the tennis practices, the regional tournaments were approaching at that time. He stopped asking me to walk together to school. Perhaps he got tired of asking, but I wasn't concerned, at least I didn't have to make up some lame reason to decline. 

And not long, he stopped making bentos altogether. Was it because I never once said 'thank you'? Maybe so... but at least I didn't have to think of any awkward ways to show my gratitude. 

At lunch breaks, I'd see him in the cafeteria. He'd sit with his friends. I first noticed the tall second-year wearing glasses with a stoic expression and enigmatic features. Then the energetic red-head, the kindly dark-haired boy with a dark cap, the one with rectangular-framed glasses, and someone that quietly sat timidly on one of the chairs. Aniki would sometimes call out and wave at me when I walked by, I simply give him a slight nod and walk on. 

So aniki can hang out with other people, and that was alright, he was allowed to. Yet on nights when I couldn't sleep, I'd remember the days when there were only the two of us, playing tennis in the backyard or in the deserted park... and somehow, I'd fall asleep. 

Sometimes on the hallways I'd see him, talking with that guy in glasses, Kunimitsu Tezuka, rumored to be the next captain of Seigaku tennis club. I didn't care. Another casual nod and I passed by. 

Time flew by almost without my notice. It was almost mid-way through the school year. Exams... activities and preparations for school festivals... they all seemed boring and pointless. On several occasions, I found my self on the rooftop, from where I could see the Seigaku regulars practicing tirelessly in endless matches, as the days of coming matches approached. 

I'd watch aniki... when he played, when he ran laps around the court, when he picked up stray balls, when he talked with Tezuka. The wind blew hard on the rooftop, carrying dust and pollen that stung my eyes. I blinked but looked on down at the tennis court. I wanted to play tennis. But most of all, I wanted to play with aniki. I wondered when it was we played against each other the last time. Was it last year? Or the year before? 

The door slammed open, I didn't turn around. I wasn't even curious who it was. 

"Oi, ichinen, what are you doing here?" 

I turned. 

Faces of people I don't even recognize. 

I turned back to face the tennis court below once more. 

"Oi, don't ignore us!" 

I shrugged. 

"Ikeda, isn't he Fuji Syusuke's little brother?" 

At that, I narrowed my eyes. Since when did it hurt just being "Fuji Syusuke's brother"? I started to wonder. I used to not mind... 

"Yeah, so I am," I snapped, without looking back. 

"Listen ichinen, we don't care if you're Fuji's brother. This is our territory, so scram," a certain raspy voice declared... no idea who it was, for I kept my gaze below, my eyes following aniki as he scored another 6-0 match against a third-year. 

"Aa..." I mumbled, unfeeling, unconcerned. 

"Why you little...!" 

I felt a heavy tug on my shoulder, before I was whisked around in time to face a descending heavy fist aimed straight at my nose. 

I didn't have time to flinch, nor did I need to. A tennis ball landed on my offender's nose, followed by a muffled heavy thud as it bounced on the concrete wall on the opposite side of the rooftop. After the initial surprise, the group took one look behind me and they scrambled away. 

"Yuuta! Can you pass the ball back? The wind was too strong it carried my ball all the way to the rooftop." 

Aniki stood just outside the court, a tennis racket on one hand, the other cupping over his mouth as he called out to me. 

I bent to pick up the ball, which the impact on the wall had made it so that it landed only a few inches away from my feet. With little effort, I threw it back. 

"Thanks!" aniki smiled and walked back to the court. 

Years ago, aniki once stood between me and a group of bullies, his small body taking heavy blows that were meant for me. On the way home, he offered me his white unsoiled handkerchief. I was sure he needed it more than I did, for I could see blood trailing from a cut he sustained on his left arm, but he bent to wipe the dirty tears on my face first. 

"Yuuta... just remember, you're the most important to me..." aniki had told me then. 

I turned my back against the tennis court and sank against the wall. I looked up, the sky was full of clouds. 

Or was it just my blurring eyes? 

I went home early that day. Skipping my last two classes, I briskly walked home. I felt... excited, and strangely glad, feelings that I thought I've forgotten. I felt like I was back laughing as I chased aniki through the empty house, back when we dueled with mock swords in the backyard, or when we played tennis with bigger tennis rackets than our palms could hold. I've decided... to join the tennis club after all. My stubbornness even led me to enroll at a tennis school nearby. Tomorrow, I'll quit that school. I'll ask aniki for practice. I'll ask him to make me bento. I'll ask him to walk together to school. I'll even... 

"How's your brother?" 

I stopped before opening the front door. A deep voice that I was somewhat familiar came through the narrow slit between the doorframes. 

Tezuka. 

"I... hope so..." aniki trailed off. 

"I see... it's just that, you've been so worried about him. Don't overdo yourself." 

"Hai, buchou," aniki answered with a teasing note. 

I silently closed the door. I knew they were friends, but I never expected aniki to invite someone to the house. They were in the kitchen. 

I laid my school bag next to my mother's favorite armchair. 

"Hmm..." aniki continued. "but I'm glad you're worried about me, Tezuka." 

I sat on the couch, which faced window, facing away from the kitchen. 

They turned silent. I closed my eyes and waited. I didn't want my presence to be known, for no reason, other than I didn't want to talk to anyone except aniki at the moment. Perhaps Tezuka would leave soon. 

I opened my eyes. 

And how I wished I didn't. 

On the finely decorated brass mirror beside the pulled draperies of the window, the reflection left me frozen. Aniki sat on one edge of the kitchen table, his legs parted enough for Tezuka to stand between them. 

They were sharing a passionate kiss. 

I gripped the leather couch with palms that suddenly turned cold. 

"Are you sure it's alright...," Tezuka asked between flitting kisses on aniki's lips, threading strong fingers on aniki's light hair. 

"Aa, school's not over until about an hour... no one's going to be home till then." 

I was left speechless. I closed my eyes again hoping that the image was just an apparition that would go away once I open my eyes again. But it didn't. 

I sat, silent and immobile. 

"Tezuka... you're the most important to me..." 

For the second time that day, I felt my vision blurring... and it was not until I felt a cold droplet seeping through the collar of my shirt, that I realized that they were tears. 

I stood. They noticed me. Aniki called my name, but I didn't turn, I walked straight to my room. 

We didn't talk after that. I never brought the subject up and aniki didn't ask. A few days later, I declared over dinner that I was transferring to St. Rodulph, and that I was going to live in the dorms. Mother cried, and neesan pleaded me to think it through more carefully. Aniki didn't say anything. 

The day I left, I stood in front of Seigaku, aniki walked with me silently to the gate. 

"Yuuta, the reason you're leaving, is it because you're disgusted with me?" he asked, the smile never left his face. 

I looked away. Even I wasn't sure myself why I was leaving. Maybe I just wanted to get away. Maybe I just didn't want to accept that we were no longer children and that aniki had someone else who was 'most important' to him now where my place used to be. Or maybe people were right when they said I simply wanted to make a name of my own without being overshadowed by a tensai brother. 

I shook my head. 

"No." 

His smile turned gentler than it already was. 

"I'm glad." 

I nodded. I turned and walked away, before stopping. I had forgotten to tell him something. 

"Aniki," I began. 

"What is it, Yuuta?" 

"Tell that Tezuka... that I'll come back and I'll defeat him." 

And I'll take you back... aniki. 

A slight pause, before he finally spoke. 

"I will. But remember, you're very important to me, Yuuta." 

I smiled dryly and a waved a hand. 

A year had passed. 

Fuji Yuuta, known as the Southpaw Killer. I had trained hard, defeating left-handed players one after the other, and Kunimitsu Tezuka was my goal. 

Yet I was crushed even before I ever had the chance of facing Tezuka in a real match. The cheers of aniki's victory against Hyotei's Jirou faded as the announcer declared that the next match was going to start soon—singles 1, Tezuka Kunimitsu against Hyotei's captain, Atobe. 

"Good luck" aniki called out. 

Tezuka nodded. 

If there hadn't been a crowd would they kiss? If they weren't in the middle of inter-school matches, would they embrace? I wondered... but perhaps it was time that I let go of the past. 

Maybe one day, aniki and I will have a friendly tennis match again, but aniki would probably never offer to make bento for me anymore, nor would we ever walk to school together again. 

Yes, because things never stay what they used to be... and perhaps it's best to keep my memories in the empty playground where used to play... 

~::OWARi::~ 

* * *

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Anyway, I hope this fic was okay ^_^ I wrote this during my lonely Christmas... _ 


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